My Big Fat Ill-Conceived Water Feature (or, Call me Ishmael)
Dear Diary, The answer still eludes me. And yet ... I can't shake the nagging sensation that an answer exists... How!? How!? How can I take the chaos, the lack of rational thought, and the overall poor quality of workmanship that I've cultivated INSIDE the house and bring it OUTSIDE as well? ... ... [angry scribblings] ... I've got it. I've GOT IT. Make the overall usability of the space worse? Check. Actively breed insects, specifically mosquitos? Check. But a safety hazard ... a safety hazard ... EUREKA! How could I have been so blind? Electrical hazards are the best ones of all! And I can c ause an adjacent building or system to stop functioning properly to boot! I'm off! Yours Always, The Guy Who Used To Live In This Fucking Place Some "Backmound" On The Situation When we moved in to La Maison De La Merde, there was a horribly misguided attempt at a "water feature" in the back yard. This "water feature"...